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Greystone, a mental health hospital. [J-rock RPG]

; 01

Greystone, a mental health hospital. [J-rock RPG]

; 01

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Who:Die.
Where: Halls, going towards the dining area.
When: Around 8am.
Open to: Anyone!

A pale yellow light shone lazily through the one window in the room. The bars blocking off the glass didn't provide a homely and comfortable feel at all, like he was reassured. Especially with the strip of grey shadow over his eyes, Die had began to feel especially awkward.
It was his first morning in the hospital, maybe even the second. All that Dai Andou was really aware of was the clammy texture of the walls, and a comforting roar of hunger in his stomach.
He could recall, that despite not putting up a struggle, an injection was forced into his arm anyway, taking his consciousness within seconds. In a dazed state, he heard voices, felt his clothes removed, and realised that his body had been thrown into a cell, a single cell, before he lost consciousness completely.

And now, he was awake.
He wasn't woken naturally either, but rather by a loud ringing bell, which was later accompanied by a masculine voice (a nurse, perhaps?) telling them all to get up.
Now, he waited quietly and patiently by the bars, until they were open. He was told to follow the other patients into the dinner hall, since he didn't know where it was.

Awkwardly, Die wriggled himself to be the last in the line, eyeing the depressing grey pyjamas of his fellow inmates. What an odd feeling, to be clinically insane.
  • Mana stood by the door of the dinning hall, smiling politely and giving his morning salutations to the patients as they came in, marking them on his clipboard as present for breakfast.

    • The slender man with dark brown hair eyed the other patients with a sense of distrust, not necessarily because he assumed the worst of them, but because he was confident that they were going to talk about him.

      The sighting of someone in a uniform made him raise an eyebrow, as he attempted to work out the gender of the nurse. They all seemed to have the same uniforms, so it was quite difficult. He had seen another nurse who seemed to have very feminine features, too.
      He managed a light smile at this one, too, before moving to sit down, hoping they wouldn't notice that he only queued up for the glass of milk.
  • Toshiya quietly stared around the dining hall, his face looking like it ran out of emotion but underneath that thin mask feeling not in the right place at all. Then again, he knew this was exactly the place he belonged. He had killed someone. But with that thought in might, he began to wonder what everyone else had done to come here. Maybe there were more criminals. But wouldn't they ever take it out on each other?

    Sighing, his eyes fell on a man, looking just like him in a way. Alone. Everyone here seemed to know each other, whether they cared about that fact or not. Maybe he was new too. Toshiya somehow wished he could talk to him and hopefully he decided to keep the spot next to him on the dining table free, although there were so many spots the lone man could choose from that he didn't render the possibility high he would pick that particular one next to him.

    • Die barely noted anyone in the building, now.
      He was too busy staring at the food in front of him in utter disgust, and shock. He licked over his lips cautiously before sighing and taking a little trey, following the rest of the inmates to get their breakfast. Being new here and all, he didn't want to cause trouble, but he didn't want to eat either. He WOULDN'T eat. He was sure that they'd forced something down him when they brought him here, and since he had no opportunity to excercise, he didn't wear it off.

      With a look of dread, he bowed 'thank you when rice was given to him. And bread, too, along with a glass of juice and green tea.
      Sighing, he moved over and sat by a table that was almost empty, beginning to pick at the rice rather than eat it.
      • Toshiya smiled when looking at the stranger. He hadn't expected it, but he was content with at least someone in some way not being afraid of him. It wasn't like the others had shown a fear of him at all, but at least... well, Toshiya was just glad someone decided to sit next to him. "Hey," he said softly after a moment of observation, waiting before holding out his hand to the other. "I'm Toshiya. You are?"

        • It was as if Die hadn't seen the other. He almost flinched when he heard the voice, but after a moment of quiet observation, he set down the chopsticks that they'd been provided with, and nodded a little, offering his hand in return.

          "Die," he said quietly, the initial fear and discomfort in his eyes fading as he forced a pretty smile.
          "Nice to meet you. I'm sorry if I seem rude," he apologised instantly, glad that a conversation was struck up, because now he didn't have to focus on the food. "I don't really know how things work here. It's my first day, practically."

          (WE'RE GETTING BACK ON TRACK, TASJA! Too much effort from people went into this comm so I can't let it die ;-; you MUST SHOUT AT ME XD )
          • Toshiya smiled kindly. "Same here. First day, got completely lost on the way here from my... cell," he still didn't like the sound of the word and it showed in his face that awkwardly screwed up before shaking it off and continuing: "Anyway, it wasn't rude, don't worry about it. Nice to meet you." He eyed the plate of the man next to him. "... Hey, your meal's completely different!" Toshiya had thought everyone here was given the same meal.

            (DAMN RIGHT! I missed this rp T_T I'll shout some more in the future then XD Ps, thanks for replying, work's a drag and I can freely reply now)

            • "Oh, you're new here too?" a spark of delight shone in his eyes and he nodded a little. This was good news! He didn't approach many of the other inmates because they all seemed to have their own little groups, but if this man was new, then he instantly felt more comfortable speaking to him.
              Since Die was not on the ward for the criminally insane, he just assumed that their rooms were identical, despite more security on Toshiya's room. He smirked when the other called it a cell.

              "My meal? Oh, right," Die wasn't actually very aware of that himself.
              He looked to the other man's, noting that he did have more. "You can have some of this if you like," he offered innocently, as he sipped on the green tea.
              • While his brown eyes looked at Die's meal, Toshiya bit his lip. "Are you really sure it's okay?" Die's meal looked... a whole lot better. His own food looked like dirt compared to the precision by which the other man's meal seemed to have been prepared. "Eh... Are you rich?" he stupidly but innocently asked, unaware of anything, "You know, outside of this? Your meal looks tasty. Mine is kind of..." Well, one look at the plate was enough to make Die understand, Toshiya figured. He smiled goofily. Some first impressions was he giving. But Die didn't come across to him as someone who'd try to tear down the wallpaper wherever he got when he had the chance or run around claiming he was a chicken. Or even worse, a cat in heat. Toshiya could still painfully remind the situation earlier that day.

                • "Am I rich?" he repeated with amusement. "Absolutely not," he laughed a little, his mood changing dramatically now, and threatening to go into that overpowering hypermania.
                  But for now he was still under control.
                  He eyed Toshiya's meal, and nodded. Honestly to him, they both looked grotesque. "Maybe I need some better neutrients," he lied. He needed to get fattened up, and they were giving him the most calorie filled foods that they had.
                  "I'll probably get the same thing for lunch, so don't worry. In fact I insist," he smiled, pushing forward the bowl.
                  Once he finished his first green tea, he had the second one unusually quickly. Well, this was his dinner now, so he was about to enjoy it. "So, are you here for long, do you know?" because he was one of those 'recovery' patients. They were sure that he'd get out. Unless of course he starved himself to death, but Die's clothes did wonders for hiding his body shape.
                  • Toshiya's eyes were oddly eager when he was given permission to have the food. It did look delicious and they had been giving him junk ever since he had been arrested since that incident, probably because they thought he was low enough to not be given proper food. All in all, they hadn't exactly been nice. "Mmm fank yu!" he mumbled, stuffing a potato in his mouth and smiled after swallowing, still not noticing the slightest change in Die's behaviour. "It's still warm!" Oh yes, they should share lunch more often! Although he had no idea why they gave him something like potatoes for lunch.

                    When the question about his stay arose however, Toshiya quickly quieted down. "I don't know," he sighed, "Most of the time I'm fine, and there isn't anything I can do about it, but there's always a chance it returns... so I really don't know. I don't like this place. You?"

                    • The brown haired man took an unusual interest now in watching Toshiya eat. His eyes widened, hald with curiosity and half with delight as he watched the other chew and eat, and he looked at him almost a little strangely.
                      "Is it okay?" he asked. He wanted to ask what it was good, and how it tasted, but he wouldn't, knowing it would be far too strange.

                      "Oh, they'll probably let me out once they perform all of these new treatments on me and I'm a vegetable," he joked, knowing that his sense of humor was probably inappropriate.
                      "No, I'm not sure to be honest. I shouldn't say longer than six months. They need to get the 'mania' part of my illness under control." Die had no problem admitting his manic depression, but he'd never admit the anorexia. Apparently.
                      • "Ah, mania, welcome to the group," Toshiya said bitterly. Oh well, at least he wasn't alone anymore. "What kind do you have? With me it's hypomania. Impulsiveness without thinking. Fun." Sarcasm laced his words. Yeah, fun. Impulsiveness, and a whole lot more ranging from violence when he was in one of his moods to less decent acts, or at least attempts at them. It wasn't something Toshiya was proud of, so he hid that part. "I hope I won't be here longer than you," he admitted, then focused on the food again, halfway through it already. "Ah, it's good! You don't like this food?" A cheesy grin. "I'd trade with you anytime, you know."
                        No, Toshiya had absolutely no idea what Die's situation was.

                        • "Manic depression," he stated, rolling his shoulders slightly. The pyjama top was basically a tshirt, which hung off his broad shoulders and the pants were baggy around his waist. Eventually, Die would get his own clothes just like everyone else, but now they were still checking his physical condition.
                          "So bouts of mania, and hyperactivity." Unlike Toshiya though, Die was never dangerous in that state. Only to himself. "I don't think it's so bad, but the last depression phase made me lose my job, so they disagree." He managed another smile, and this time cautiously reached for the juice.
                          Calories, calories, calories.
                          With a look of guilt, Die pushed it back.

                          "I'm a fussy eater," he grinned, lying. "I mostly eat soup so when they have that, then it better be nice."
                          • Softly smiling, Toshiya shook his head. "You really -are- a fussy eater, aren't you? Ah well, you're forgiven." Trying to get a bit more familiar with Die seemed to be working, apart from his complete blindness to some things. They all had their funny little quirks in this institution, so he didn't think much of it anyway, simply assuming it was the manic depression that got him in this place.

                            "Hm.. but it's not dangerous, right? Your depression. I read some things about it and it didn't seem that nice. What happened at your job?" And on inspecting him closer, he smiled: "What job did you have anyway? You're a hard one to guess." The darkhaired man, still looking rather unshaven though he was planning on getting rid of the last evidence that he had spent too long in an isolation cell, felt nice around this man. It seemed someone of his level and he liked talking to him.

                            • Smiling in return, the brown haired man certainly looked approchable. He had a friendly face and a nice smile, and apart from the bags under his eyes and the slight stubble on his own chin, he looked very normal indeed. Die's eating problem wasn't suspected unless someone saw his body. His face wasn't too thin, and he liked it like that.
                              "No, I'm not dangerous to other people. To myself, apparently. I don't hurt myself or anything like that," he explained. Self mutalation wasn't for him. "Well not physically. They say I do it mentally, but personally I think it's nonsense."

                              He paused, looking around. Thankfully the nurses were occupied with more difficult patients, so they didn't watch his food intake.
                              "The job wasn't anything special. Just a shop. Do you work? I never really had the money for unversity or anything. But I stopped coming in, I stopped paying my rent. So they got in touch with people that looked after me, as a kid."
                              • "Oh.. why didn't you pay the rent anymore?" Toshiya was curious. He just hoped he understood the situation correctly because he didn't want to come across as an airhead when he really didn't know much of everything. "I hope you'll find a way to stop hurting yourself though," he sighed, looking down, deciding he had had enough food, his stomach feeling awkwardly swollen. Of course it wasn't, but that's what it did feel like to him. "It's hard, you know, not being able to control yourself. Sometimes I'm afraid of myself. I hope you don't hurt yourself too badly to be afraid of yourself too."

                                (sorry, that took a while :( had to get home from work and eat and I'll enjoy the garden and the weather for a bit now, but continue later on? :D)

                                • "Well, I wasn't going to work, that's why," he smiled a little, watching the food being pushed away. He knew that at some point, his eating would be observed. That's why now, he had to eat at least one meal every day, which was horrible.
                                  "I was just going through a bad month, you know," he smiled, moving to take a cigarette case from the elastic in his pyjamas.
                                  "Do you smoke? We can't here but if you want to get a smoke outside," Die pointed to the balcony.
                                  • While the boy neatly aligned his cutlery, never sharp enough because of the many borderline cases in this place he reckoned, Toshiya nodded, stacking the plates and looking around where he was supposed to dump them. When he found then, he smiled. "A smoke would be nice." Really really nice. Whenever Toshiya smoked he felt blissful. Maybe that was because of his long passed addiction for hallucinatives that still lingered somewhere deep inside, though he knew it wasn't good for him. "How'd you get them inside? I haven't smoked in... close to months, I guess." But first he stood up to dispose of the plates before returning to their table and nodding, indicating that he was ready.

                                    • Die smirked a little, watching Toshiya.
                                      Of course, because of his eating disorder, the nurses checked their plates after Toshiya had set them there, eyeing Die suspiciously. Last time he was forced to eat his dinner, he had sat there for five hours straight. So, they certainly had the right to be suspicious.

                                      He rose now when the other returned, almost cradeling his silver cigarette case.
                                      "You just have to request them. If you have anyone that'll get them for you, or money of your own, you're allowed a certain amount of tobacco a week. I still keep in touch with some women from the home I was in," well, they actually put him there. "So they send me cigarettes," Die smirked, moving out to the balcony which was a nice size. He sat on the floor, and began to roll up now.
                                      • "..I don't really have much friends that still want to see me," Toshiya said, sitting down and enjoying their view. He could simply taste the fresh air compared to the ill atmosphere of inside the institution and smiled unconsciously. Well, Toshiya did have quite a few friends. But they were all friends that were only interested in the one thing he had ever given them. Sex. For numerous reasons, but never the right ones. Right, well Die didn't need to know that. Toshiya himself didn't even want to know about it.

                                        "So, you think it's possible you can get me a cig every now and then? I don't exactly have money but I can pay you in another way. Chores or something. They have chores here, right? But only if you want to, of course." Hugging his legs, he smiled cutely. "Some women, eh? You were popular back home?"

                                        (going home and dinner now, might be a bit late in responding :( but I -will- respond this time!)

                                        • Die snorted a little, shaking his head at Toshiya's comment.
                                          "They're both about sixty," he laughed, then shuddered when an unwelcome mental image imbedded itself into his head. "I grew up in a children's home," he said still smiling, so Toshiya wouldn't feel uncomfortable about it. "They were the two women that worked with all of the kids."
                                          His actual popularity with women wasn't so great. At least not recently.
                                          "I haven't got a woman to visit me like that, unfortunately. Since the illness went serious, I've not met anyone who cares for too long, you know."

                                          After he rolled one of the cigarettes, he passed it to Toshiya and got one of his own, lighting them both with matches.
                                          "As long as you keep eating my lunches, you can have all the cigs you want."
                                          • "You really don't like the meals they give you, do you?" Toshiya asked. But he blamed that mostly on Die probably thinking the food tasted horrible as opposed to other reasons. He took a long drag and rest his head back against the wall. Ahhh, that had been too long. "You got yourself a deal," he spoke, his eyes still closed and intent on enjoying his first nicotine rush in too long a time to the fullest.

                                            After a while, he peeked open his eyes. Toshiya looked at Die curiously. "Why don't people care for too long?" he asked, "You're a nice guy, right?" Oh, the man liked how this wasn't about him. He was genuinely interested too though.

                                            • "Not at all," he smiled, lying. He inhaled deeplyon the cigarette, running his tongue over his lips as he held his breath. Die did feel hungry. It was only natural, after all, and that feeling was horrible.
                                              But it was that feeling of an empty stomach that he was addicted to, almost as much as the not eating in itself.

                                              "And yeah, I'm a nice guy. But most women don't want to deal with a manic depressive nice guy, you know. I don't blame them, not really. I wouldn't know what to do with me either." Sighing, he flicked the ash. Die was one of the new generations of smokers. He didn't use pipes.
                                              "What about you? You got a girl?"
                                              • Toshiya contemplated over how to respond to that for a while. Then he smiled and shook his head. "Nah, the only girl in my life's my sister. Was." Which was completely true, but it was okay as long as it sounded innocently and he wouldn't have to tell what exactly they did. When one of his friends once found out he got beaten up and Toshiya really didn't want that repeated. "But what about short-term relationships?" he asked, not willing to believe that Die was as impopular as he claimed he was.

                                                • Nodding a little, Die continued to stare out into the garden as he puffed on the cigarette.
                                                  "I don't have any siblings anymore," he said, his voice flat. It was almost something he got used to. Something he hated, and could never forgive his father for, but something he was used to.
                                                  "And short term? Well you know how it is. Most girls want you to marry them," he frowned, shaking his head. "I definetely don't want to marry anyone. But I have... a few short term relationships, a couple with married women," he laughed, cheeks colouring bright red. "But when my depression hits, none of them are interested. I guess that's how you seperate something loving from just sex."
                                                  • Toshiya looked down. He suddenly felt he had asked a rude question. "Sorry," he mumbled and looked to the side, enjoying the sight of two birds fighting, or doing something else, on the ledge of the balcony. Then he wondered why people could come here so freely when it was a good jumpers' spot. "I hope you didn't love one of them if they lost their interest that easily."

                                                    On the answer of his family, Toshiya frowned. "What do you mean, not anymore? Something happened?"

                                                    • "Don't worry about it," the brown haired man insisted. Surprisingly, unless he was in his depressive mood, he wasn't easily offended. Die hadn't spoken to anyone in a really long time anyway. He lived alone, and didn't have so many friends in his life.
                                                      He liked talking, just so casually. "I don't mind talking like this. I like it, a little."

                                                      He moved forward once his cigarette was finished, and dangled his legs off the balcony. It was only on the first floor, so the jump wasn't very high.
                                                      "My family died when I was young. About eight years old." He wouldn't say that they were murdered, and he saw them all killed by his own father.
                                                      "It's weird growing up in a children's home, you know," he managed to laugh, but he obviously didn't find it so amusing.
                                                      • "Hmm... my parents were always gone from when my sister turned old enough for me to be able to babysit her. They didn't care and we just had to find a way to manage. Maybe it's the same in a way," Toshiya decided to elaborate on his youth a little too, feeling that he could trust Die anyway, "I'm sorry they passed away though. Was it an illness?" After all, Die had said 'my family', and that indicated more than two people, and at around the same time would usually mean something like an illness.

                                                        • Die watched Toshiya now as he spoke, nodding at him to show his full attention and interest.
                                                          "It's similar, yeah. At least you had your sister though," he smiled, moving to roll some cigarettes again. He knew that soon they'd have to return to their rooms.
                                                          "You two must be close." Oh, the irony.

                                                          Another pause now, mostly because Die was concentrating on the cigarettes. He was rolling one for Toshiya too.
                                                          "No, they were killed. My mum and my two brothers."
                                                          • Toshiya instantly pulled his cigarette from his lips and stared at Die. "What do you mean, killed? You mean... really -killed-?" He tried to picture it and shuddered. "I'm sorry, really. I shouldn't have asked you that." Empathic as he was, he felt bad now, both for having asked and for the knowledge Die's family had been murdered. Change of subject. So, for once, Toshiya decided to give details. He didn't want Die to feel bad for him having made him tell about his family. "My sister and I... yeah, we were close. A little too close, maybe. Mom and dad were never there and I suppose that's what brought us nearer. But too close, is what people used to say."

                                                            • "Well I'm still alive, right?" That's what he was told once, when his depression had started at a very young age. The other children in the home couldn't understand why he was always crying. So they said to him 'at least you're alive!'

                                                              He tried to smile, his smile pretty and bright. It made his appearance much nicer, despite being so underweight for his height.
                                                              "Well, people are never happy, you know. People never understand, either. I don't think people should judge things they can't understand."
                                                              • "I think they understood it quite well," Toshiya sighed, "I mean, brothers and sisters aren't supposed to be kissing." And the neighbourhood had been able to fill in the rest of the details. He looked at the cigarette burning out, ashes falling onto the concrete of the balcony. Then he sighed. "Do you blame yourself? You know, that you're still alive and they're... not?"

                                                                • An eyebrow raised now, and for the first time, Die glanced at Toshiya with a somewhat critical eye. But that didn't last for very long. After all, what did he expect in a mental home? There was a ward for the criminally insane too, he'd heard.
                                                                  "Well, maybe it's right, then," he shrugged, speaking in a calm tone as he threw his second cigarette over the balcony, hoping it wouldn't hit anyone below.

                                                                  "I'm not angry at myself. I'm angry at the world," he sighed, scratching his nose now. The cigarette had made his hunger a little less obvious now.
                                                                  "I am angry that I had to be the one to survive, I'd much rather it be my little brother. But I don't think he would of coped with a home well. But then again, how can I speak for him?" he paused at this rhetirical question, dark brown eyes blinking.

                                                                  "They'll call us in, in about five minutes. Back to the rooms."
                                                                  • Toshiya regretted letting that go when he noticed Die's reaction. He shouldn't have said that. He didn't want the man to feel uncomfortable around him. "You ... shouldn't feel upset about it. It'll keep you from moving on," he carefully said, "And it might hurt you to know you couldn't do anything to prevent it. Looking back is never good..." But Toshiya's distress had grown a bit from regretting what he said. It made him feel slightly sad, and so he stared down at the floor and bit his lip. Without further realising it, it slipped him into a stupor and he sat completely unmoving looking down. It was one of the things Toshiya hated most, losing control over himself, though at the moment he wasn't even aware of what he was doing, just like he wasn't aware of anything.

                                                                    • Die sat silently now, with his legs still dangling. He kicked idly at the air, contemplating the other's words.
                                                                      "It's not that simple, unfortunately," he sighed, growing silent again.
                                                                      It was only when the nurses in the dining hall announced that it was time for patients to return to their rooms that Die rose again, shifting from foot to foot and stretching out his unhealthy joints, which cracked from the lack of nutrition.
                                                                      "We have to go back in," he said to Toshiya, only really noticing how quiet the other had got. "Back to the rooms until bedtime," Die crouched, gently patting Toshiya's shoulder.
                                                                      • But Toshiya wouldn't move. He merely sat there, looking down, his eyes looking like eyes of a doll, as empty and unreflecting as they had become. Only his breathing was really a reminder he was still alive. He hadn't heard Die's last words, nor the announcement that they had to return to their rooms. He just... sat there.

                                                                        • The tall brown haired man blinked a little, and tried to shake Toshiya lightly. He said several more things, encouraging the somewhat taller man to try and come out of his trance, but he was unsuccessful.
                                                                          Die swallowed, mumbling 'shit' under his breath before moving over to call a nurse, who quickly brought another nurse as they tried to tend to Toshiya, with Die just standing back and watching, wide eyed.
                                                                          So much for finding someone who wasn't weird.
                                                                          "Did I do that?" he asked one of the nurses, pointing to Toshiya.
                                                                          • Because Toshiya was in no condition to talk, retreated into his own void, the nurse to his left replied for him. "Ah, no, no, don't worry about it," he nodded his head in a small bow, "It's just a stupor. He should be fine in an hour at most. But you -should- return to your room now. We'll take him to his own." And off they walked, two supporting the man that looked completely dead to the world now, heading to the doors to the lounge and then in the direction of the ward of the criminally insane.

                                                                            ((ehm... what now? XXD))
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