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Greystone, a mental health hospital. [J-rock RPG]

Who: Toshiya Where: Lounge When: 3pm Open to: Everyone It was…

Greystone, a mental health hospital. [J-rock RPG]

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Who: Toshiya
Where: Lounge
When: 3pm
Open to: Everyone
It was humid. Humid, too unpleasant, and anything he could make up that would make Toshiya give himself another reason to hate this place. Oh yes, and then there were the patients. The patients that he absolutely did -not- feel anything friendly for. Maybe it were troubles in adapting to his new environment, but it felt like he couldn't associate with anyone because they were all complete lunatics. He groaned audibly when someone actually came running by, screaming, as if to underline his thoughts. Why was he put here anyway?
Toshiya was toying with an abacus. Such a useless item but interesting enough to kill time with. How long was he going to stay here anyway? But all the while he did with the slightest bit of hope observe the other patients, hoping that maybe, maybe, there was someone like him out there, someone whom he could at least relate to. After all, he was alone here just like everybody else.
  • Toshiya scrunched up his eyebrows. Following the gaze of the man, he couldn't help but notice the nurse watching them and it made him feel uncomfortable, especially when he turned back and was now facing the nurse with his back, something he had never been too keen on, facing enemies like that. "So... you're not always Kyo?" he asked, "What are your other names? You got other names?" Toshiya just -assumed- that he meant having multiple personalities. "You didn't... kill the missionary, right?" But he didn't take a distance. There were people here to keep him in check if he wanted to again, -if- he did it in the first place. And wasn't he the same?

    And suddenly Toshiya wanted a smoke, craved for one. It was then that the impact of being locked in a place like this fully hit him. There would be no more casual smokes, probably, since they had taken his cigarettes somewhere during his artificial sleep and never returned it. "I think I'm ... I don't know, it's quiet there, but it's not Isolation because I know what that looks like. Doctors said I'm hypomaniac," then Toshiya laughed wryly, "I don't even know half of what that's supposed to be. Hypomaniac with a Bipolar II Disorder. I don't really like doctors' and their vagueness." But as he said those words, his hands fumbled nervously.

    • Dark brown eyes gazed at the other almost patronisingly now, and Kyo rolled the pretty brown hues at Toshiya with extra emphasis.
      "I don't have multiple personalities," heck, he didn't even think that he was schizophrenic. But very few people here realised that they actually had problems. "According to the books, I have hallucinations, delusions and disordered thinking," Kyo quoted the type A positive symptoms. He had of course studied the disorder that the doctors assumed that he had. Tohru was a very intelligent man, and he would of gone on to become great, without a doubt, if now for entering the hospital.
      "And no I didn't kill the missionary," he said, shaking his head slightly. "I just showed her that her God isn't real a little inappropriately," a slight hiss in his voice, when he mentioned God, but otherwise he gave nothing away.

      "Did you have to walk up two sets of stairs to get here, or one? I think you might be in the same ward as me if you are in the silent one. Everyone in ward C is usually injected with morphine as soon as they make a little bit of noise." They were all dangerous, apparently.
      "But then, that means that you did something wrong," Kyo smiled, eyeing the other. "So it can't just be hypomania.The first floor makes us all criminals, but too crazy to go to prison."
      • "Oh... sorry." The taller of the two, my a noticeable difference Toshiya had realised, apologised and once again averted his eyes. The man next to him had eyes that seemed able to pierce him if they felt like doing that, or that's what it felt like. "So... what kind of illusions?" he asked. Toshiya had had illusions too. They were mostly due to drugs but if Kyo's illusions sprung from the same source then maybe he could help him out or something, or at least understand him better.

        At the other words however, he sighed and rubbed his face with his left palm, a sign that he needed to keep his hands busy or they'd be a bit shaky. "... The criminal ward, right? Yeah, I suppose that's what you could call it. Officially, hypomania and the bipolar thing and catatonia. I don't really know what it means but I suppose it means I just lost control for a moment. ... And more or less dealt with that wrongly." He wasn't going to tell he hung his sister's boyfriend; nobody would want to be his friend anymore if he told! And neither was he going to mention being aware that the doctors had also diagnosed a narcissistic disorder. That was never a good fact if you didn't want to be alone in a hellhole like this.

        So.. inappropriately showing someone her God isn't real. Toshiya turned to Kyo. "You're not one of those satanist people, are you?"

        • Kyo listened with general interest, giving the occasional nod to show that he was indeed paying attention.
          "Well, it happens to us all," he said it with a shrug and a smile, as if murder and rape were the most natural things in the world. "You could say that I lost control for a while, too. But the delusions," unsure, he bit his lip, biting hard into the flesh. The almost transparent skin on his lower lip almost threatened to tear but he made no motion to stop the biting. The pain was just a barely there stinging, nothing like what he usually inflicted upon himself in order to get them away.
          "I hear things," he said, deciding to speak of it from a scientific point of view, rather than involving his own opinion. Because he was positive that what he heard was real, and not just auditory hallucinations. "I sometimes see things, too. Things... people, beings that try and force thoughts into me," when he stopped biting his lip, a little bit of blood escaped, and Kyo promptly licked it off.
          "But the medication I have to take doesn't help at all, to be honest. I personally believe that it makes it worse."

          A little laugh, more like a cackle left his lips at the question though.
          "I'm not a Satanist. I just believe that Christianity is all made up, all lies. There is one much, much better alternative," he insisted, eyeing the other with a slightly suspicious smile. "Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime."
          • Toshiya smiled at that. "Ah, don't worry. I don't really believe in religion, any kind of it." Completely unlike everyone else in his environment, who often told him his atheism was going to get him right into hell, a place he didn't believe in in the first place, nor any similar places in other religions. "What kind of thoughts do they force on you then?" he asked in honest interest. Kyo was a nutcase, if he heard voices and saw people telling him to do things, but he had a feeling he was harmless and still blessed with a mind of reason on the side, so he was willing to look past those minor blemishes. The taller man looked curiously at the small drop of blood on Kyo's lips through his deep brown eyes however. What a strange man he really was.

            Kyo's stories about his own imperfections did spur Toshiya to be a bit more open about his own nature though, knowing that it couldn't really be worse than hearing voices. "I strangled my sister's date with the phone cord," he mumbled, "And then hung him. So, I won't condemn you for the voices and you won't condemn me for that mistake, okay?" His voice made clear that he was asking for some sort of mutual agreement they were both not what people'd consider normal and they wouldn't betray each other. Then Toshiya said: "It's a bible you're reading, right? ..." That was Christian, wasn't it?

            ((ooc: going to sleep ^__^ nightnight~~ *hug*))

            • An eyebrow raised as he continued to suck his swollen lip, eventually grinning when Toshiya had finished talking.
              "Don't you think that murder is far worse than hearing voices?" he quizzed, but his tone wasn't accusing. It simply amused him how the other man thought that murder was actually on the same level as hearing voices. Not that Kyo was completely innocent. Rape wasn't exactly a nice thing, after all. "The voices aren't an option, anyway. I think it would be unfair of you to condemn me for something I can't help." The rape was an option though, and Kyo was very much in his right mind when he did that.
              "But I'm not damning you." In fact, he was actually quite enjoying their little conversation. Speaking to Toshiya did quite beat speaking to a man who thought that he was three years old.

              "This? Yes, it's the Bible," Kyo nodded with confidence in his tone as his fingers traced the engraved 'B' obsessively. "I'm just altering a few things in it. I studied religion at university you see, and to entertain myself, I'm changing what really can't have happened. The majority of it is actually lies," he smiled, setting the book down onto the floor.
              "It shouldn't be too bad for you here, if you behave. You might even get out before most of the guys on the normal ward."
              • Toshiya just shrugged his shoulders, feeling awkward. "It's not like murder's ... worse," sometimes he still had trouble believing he actually killed someone because it wasn't like him at all and he knew that, "It was just something... you know, something I couldn't suppress. So if the voices aren't an option for you, that wasn't an option for me. It wasn't like I planned it. I can't even remember what happened after that, all I know is that I woke up in one of those Isolation cells." A shudder ran down his back. Isolation cells were the supreme evil in Toshiya's eyes. He still remembered how he had spent his days there and what a hell it had been. Even more because nobody told him anything while all he wanted was to see his family.

                Snapping back to reality, the patient sighed. It wasn't good to open himself up like this to the other at all. For all he knew it'd be taken advantage of at some point. Then he looked at the book and the fingers tracing its cover. "The Bible is religious, Kyo. Of course there are things that can't have happened. For one, there's no such thing as miracles. Or God. Why do people believe in some man high up in the clouds with his gang of angels around him that cares nothing for mankind below anyway? It's not like he ever at some point made it clear he existed." Still, the thought of being able to get out here soon.. Toshiya liked that thought. But he knew he wasn't going to get out if his temper kept being so unpredictable, and it wasn't exactly something he could control in any way.

                • Kyo licked over his front teeth, feeling the crooked solid texture with curiosity.
                  "God doesn't have to be high up. He doesn't have to be an invisible almighty being, that's about eighteen feet tall. He might just be here, amongst us. Just because I don't believe in this religion," he patted the Bible on his lap almost affectionatelly. "Doesn't mean that I disbelief in religion altogether."

                  Dark brown eyes wandered carefully to a clock on the wall, and Kyo nodded at it almost sternly.
                  "I need to exercise," he said and set the Bible aside as he stood. He'd take it with him of course, because he didn't want anyone seeing his notes until they were finished.
                  "Just because we're here doesn't mean we can let ourselves go," he shuddered at the thought of a pudgy belly, and stroked his own through the cloth of his pyjama top out of habit. "I'll see you again here. They might even put us in some group sessions together."
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